This gem from Salon.com came zooming into my inbox this morning via my handy dandy Preston Hollow Google alerts. It’s total nonsense, of course, but it is hilarious nonsense. A teaser:

Sources interviewed for this article said that Mr. Bush spends at least eight hours of each day at the Preston Hollow Shopping Center, a popular retail destination near his home in suburban Dallas. “Other than that chimichanga lunch he doesn’t really have a set routine,” said one source. “Sometimes he’ll hang around Lenscrafters trying on glasses or head over to Abercrombie & Fitch and watch the girls fold pants. Last week I saw him inside Pottery Barn sleeping in a leather recliner.”

After 11 terms in the Texas House of Representatives, Will Hartnett (R-Texas), announced today he will not go for No. 12.

“My wife and three sons have stood by me during my years of public service, and now I look forward to having more time to stand by them in our family life,” he said in a statement.

That’s the question Rev. Owen Ross hopes to answer when he speaks at Northaven United Methodist Church as part of the Faith Voices For Justice series. Ross, a pastor at Christ’s Foundry United Methodist Church in Dallas, will share his stories and observations from working with a Spanish-speaking congregation that includes many immigrants.

WHAT: Owen Rosee presents, WWJD: “Who Would Jesus Deport? ”

WHEN: Oct. 4, 7 to 8:45 p.m.

WHERE: Northaven United Methodist Church, 11211 Preston Road

I was surprised to find a police report detailing a 9/11/11 arrest of a “suspicious person” seen lurking near the Daria Place home of former president George W. Bush. According to the report, police learned of the man from a 911 call and later detained him in the 5700 block of Meaders Lane. He was arrested on two warrants for unpaid traffic tickets.

At 6:30 tonight, meet Councilwomen Ann Margolin and Linda Koop for a Town Hall meeting at Churchill Way Recreation Center, 6906 Churchhill Way, Dallas. The councilwomen will field questions about the city budget, and presumably everything else you throw at them. That’s a figurative statement, folks; leave the tomatoes at home.

I’ll also be at the meeting (red shirt, brown hair, devastatingly handsome), so stop by and say hello. See you there.

Ever wonder what those signs are for in front of the under-construction home at the corner of Park Lane and Preston Road? I stopped by earlier today, and saw that the homeowner applied for a variance with the Dallas Board of Adjustments for “Fence Height and Visability.”

After I got back to the office I gave the BoA a shout to find out if a public hearing has been held, or a decision made. No on both questions, but there will probably be a hearing in September, a BoA staffer told me.

So, if you’re worried about fence height along Park Lane, check back in a few weeks; we’ll post the final hearing date then.

For most people reading this, the day is winding down. For the reporter writing this, it’s only just beginning.

I’m live at DISD headquarters where Interim Superintendent Alan King just presented Budget Version 6.1.

King said he is 90 percent sure this is the budget the district will end up with when the State Legislature ends the special session. He is recommending the board approve this budget tonight, and it’s Item No. 17 on the agenda.

Stay tuned for more updates.

UPDATE 5:34 PM

Before the meeting was even officially called to order, two cell phones went off, someone shouted out “For all!” after the “With liberty and justice for all,” portion of the pledge of allegiance, and board president Lew Blackburn quoted the Bible.

UPDATE 5:57 PM
The public forum has begun. Six cell phones have gone off, and one person is audibly snoring.

UPDATE 6:04 PM
“Most of the high school students I know don’t know how to read.”

Sunset High School student Xochiti Deleon said during the public forum.

UPDATE 6:43 PM
The public forum has been going on for almost an hour with only speaker addressing the budget issue. More popular topics include classroom discipline, and the naming of various auditoriums, libraries, and plazas.

UPDATE 7:19 PM
The librarians are here in force. Seven speakers so far have voiced their displeasure with the cuts in the libraries that would take away 42 positions.

UPDATE 7:32 PM
After 11 speakers including current and former librarians, graduates, parents, and volunteers, the Dallas League of Librarians has conceivably rested its case. There are five speakers remaining on the public forum schedule.

UPDATE 7:42 PM
Just kidding. John Kalan, a father of two PH Elementary students, just went to bat for libraries, making it an even dozen speakers. So far…

UPDATE 7:53 PM
The public forum for agenda items has ended. Now speakers on non-agenda items will begin. There are eight names listed.

UPDATE 8:12 PM
After listening to three hours of public speakers, the board is taking a ten-minute recess. It will return to tackle the consent agenda consisting of 84 items as well as the 22 items pulled for a separate vote. The budget is item 17.

In other news, I’m starving.

UPDATE 8:30 PM
The board is back in session

UPDATE 8:46 PM
The board unanimously approved the consent agenda. Meanwhile, my phone battery is running low so updates won’t be as frequent.

UPDATE 9:20 PM
Board members approved an amendment to the district’s sick leave policy proposed by Nancy Bingham to include days for adopted children and personal reasons.

When Blackburn questioned how the days would be designated, Bingham responded thusly:
“I don’t care what it’s called–you can call it ‘mental health day,’” she said to cheers from the remaining library contingent.

UPDATE 9:55 PM
An amendment proposed by Mike Morath will allow principals to refuse teacher placements. Those teachers who are slated to be moved to another school will have to be approved by the principal. Unaccepted teachers will be placed in a “reassignment pool” that will be used for substitute teachers. Morath insists this is not a rubber room.

UPDATE 10:12 PM
After Mike Morath made a case that many private schools sell naming rights rather than award them, a motion to name a band room in honor of someone failed. Morath is hoping to start a trend to raise revenue.

“We have assets that we can give away, or we have assets we can sell,” Morath said. “I’m not up here to be lousy with tax payer funds.”

UPDATE 11:37 PM
The board approved Budget Version 6.1 with an amendment to revise the budget in August to restore library staff levels.

Goodnight.

State Rep. Will Hartnett, R-Dallas, was heralded by Texas Monthly in their Best and Worst Legislators list as a lawmaker who is” giving lawyers a good name and spoiling the fun.”

TexMo had this to say about District 114’s Hartnett, who bested Democratic Party challenger John Wellik in November:

Hartnett is a quiet, unassuming sort who goes about his business, session after session, with little fanfare, passing bills on such scintillating subjects as notices of lis pendens and power of attorney. Then along comes a situation where the House needs a sharp legal mind who can rise above politics and carry out the law with impartiality and integrity. When that occurs, Hartnett is first on the list of candidates.

That’s pretty high praise. Discuss?

With 37 of 38 precincts reporting, there’s no question that Ann Margolin is going to retain her seat on the City Council. She has 89.5 percent of the 9,745 votes casts in District 13. The only question is, why did more than 1,000 people vote for Richard P. Sheridan, a candidate whose platform was built on abolishing the Federal Reserve. That’s a pretty lofty goal for a municipal official.

When news of Osama Bin Laden’s death broke, most people had an immediate reaction. But whether you felt relief, excitement, or sadness has created an entirely new debate about the rules of war and humanity.

If you’ve felt conflicted about the news, or perhaps confused why others reacted why they did, head to Congregation Shaare Tefilla where Rabbi Perl will present a 6:30 p.m. Shabbat lecture entitled “Should We Rejoice Over Bin Laden’s Demise? Ethics of Sensitivity and the Virtues of Hate.”