Our step cousin D Magazine has launched a nasty spit wad at the Park Cities with their July issue in which they ranked the burbs based on safety, education, housing values, and ambiance. I lovingly send this super wet loogie in response to the absurdity of University Park falling to number 7. Highland Park remained number 6 which is a tad on the insulting side too.
The following items were obviously excluded from the formula to hurt us.
- Ratio of turrets to homes built before 2009.
- Number of banks.
- Ratio of prostitutes to other area residents.
Here’s what totally screwed us: